People Magazine named John Legend its ‘Sexiest Man Alive’, and we at The Gello Show have an issue with that.
John Legend is sweet. John Legend is sensitive. But John Legend is NOT sexy. He is the type of man who lays on his stomach with his feet up when texting his wife, Chrissy Teigen. There is nothing wrong with that, but it most definitely is not sexy.
To put his “Sexiest Man Alive” prize in perspective, John Legend beat out Jason Momoa, Idris Elba, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Chris Pratt, Tyrese Gibson, and the entire Hemsworth family (among others), to win this prestigious honor.
People Magazine has messed up, but that’s ok. The Gello Show is here to pick up the pieces and right their horrible wrongs. So, without further ado, here is The Gello Show’s list of the 5 Sexiest Men Alive.
5. Flava Flav
Flava Flav started making ladies weak in the knees during his time with the rap group Public Enemy in the 1980s. He stayed breaking hearts throughout the 90’s until the heart throb burst back onto the scene in the early 2000’s with the reality show “Flavor of Love”. The show pitted would-be female suitors against each other, with the winner winning Flava Flav’s loyalty. Is there anything sexier than a man who is responsible and always knows what time it is?
4. Seth Rogen
There is nothing sexier than a man who can make you laugh, and actor/filmmaker Seth Rogen definitely fits the bill. From his Sinatra-esque voice to his delicate, charming laugh, Seth Rogen knows exactly what a lady wants. Plus, with a dad bod like that, what’s not to love?
3. Luis Guzman
Hubba hubba! Luis Guzman has been getting all the ladies stirred up in the loins since starting his acting career in the 1980s. Since then, he has made viewers across the globe swoon with his chiseled, masculine good looks. His most notable works include Boogie Nights and the television show Community.
2. Danny DeVito
Bursting onto the acting scene in the 1970’s on the television show “Taxi”, Danny DeVito has been a favorite among women for nearly 50 years. He has starred in many movies and television shows, and has consistently ranked among the most popular hunks among female viewers. The true originator of the dad bod, he is also known for making baldness sexy, paving the way for future sexy bald men Vin Diesel, Jason Statham, and Tyrese Gibson.
Breaking hearts and taking names since he came out the womb in ’82, The Gello Show’s selection for “Sexiest Man Alive” is our very own Gello! Gello is what women call the “total package”; devilishly handsome with a chiseled body, playful sense of humor, and angelic singing voice. There is nothing that gets a woman going more than the idea of waking up to the smell of bacon and the sound of this man singing while cooking breakfast in the kitchen. Unfortunately for the rest of the world, the only person who gets to enjoy THAT privilege is Gello’s wife, Sarah.
Shoutout to Gello for winning The Gello Show’s first annual “Sexiest Man Alive” competition! SHARE this article on Twitter and TAG John Legend and Chrissy Teigen, to show them what a REAL champion looks like!