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Chrissy Teigen attends Global Citizen VAX LIVE: The Concert To Reunite The World at SoFi Stadium in Inglewood, California. Global Citizen VAX LIVE: The Concert To Reunite The World will be broadcast on May 8, 2021.

Chrissy Teigen has posted a lengthy apology after being MIA from social media for a month following her cyberbullying scandal involving Courtney Stodden.

On her Medium site, Teigen says, “I know I’ve been quiet, and lord knows you don’t want to hear about me, but I want you to know I’ve been sitting in a hole of deserved global punishment, the ultimate ‘sit here and think about what you’ve done.’ Not a day, not a single moment has passed where I haven’t felt the crushing weight of regret for the things I’ve said in the past.”

She continued on, “As you know, a bunch of my old awful (awful, awful) tweets resurfaced. I’m truly ashamed of them. As I look at them and understand the hurt they caused, I have to stop and wonder: How could I have done that?”

As we previously reported, Teigen publicly apologized to Courtney Stodden for telling her to “take a dirt nap” via a Twitter thread, but Stodden said, “I have never heard from her or her camp in private. In fact, she blocked me on Twitter.” She added, “All of me wants to believe this is a sincere apology, but it feels like a public attempt to save her partnerships with Target and other brands who are realizing her ‘wokeness’ is a broken record.”

Three major department stores, including Bloomingdales, Macy’s and Target, have all backed out of deals with her cookware line.

Teigen says that there are more people that she needs to apologize to, saying that she’s in the process of privately reaching out to the people she’s insulted. “I understand that they may not want to speak to me. I don’t think I’d like to speak to me. (The real truth in all of this is how much I actually cannot take confrontation.) But if they do, I am here and I will listen to what they have to say, while apologizing through sobs,” she wrote.

Teigen called her “meanness masquerading as a kind of casual, edgy humor. I was a troll, full stop. And I am so sorry.” She goes on to admit she was really insecure and immature, using Twitter to gain attention. 35-year-old Teigen said she believed at the time that her content was “crude, clever, harmless quip. I thought it made me cool and relatable if I poked fun at celebrities.”

But now, she says she gets “sharp, stabbing pains in my body, randomly remembering my a–hole past, and I deserve it. Words have consequences and there are real people behind the Twitter handles I went after. I wasn’t just attacking some random avatar, but hurting young women — some who were still girls — who had feelings.”

Teigen says she isn’t seeking, nor deserving of, any sympathy, adding that “the subjects of your sympathy — and mine — should be those I put down.” She emphasizes her going to therapy many times in her post, adding that she’s been on a “path of self-improvement for the past decade and that path is going to continue.”

She concluded her lengthy post by saying, “We are all more than our worst moments. I won’t ask for your forgiveness, only your patience and tolerance. I ask that you allow me, as I promise to allow you, to own past mistakes and be given the opportunity to seek self-improvement and change.”