10 Movies From The 80s That Should Have Never Been Remade
How many times have you or someone you were with see the latest trailer for a Hollywood remake/reboot and asked, “Why?” Why bother to remake something that we loved back in the day? The answer is always something along the lines of “Hollywood just doesn’t have any original ideas.” But it might be more than that.
People love nostalgia. There’s no question. Nearly everyone thinks things were better “back in the day”. From music to movies to life in general. The things you experienced in your formative years will always hold a special place in your heart and mind.
Hollywood loves nostalgia too. Remakes and reboots not only give producers a chance to capitalize on an already established property, but filmmakers themselves are able to revisit beloved stories and reimagine them through a contemporary lens.
Last week, the trailer dropped for a reboot of the popular 1989 Patrick Swayze movie “Road House”, which will stream exclusively on Amazon Prime beginning March 21st. I was guilty of asking “why” because I had such fond memories of the original. But after watching the trailer, I said to myself, “This could actually work.” This one seems to be more of a reimagining of the original where Jake Gyllenhaal is a former mixed martial arts fighter who turns to being a bouncer at a dive bar.
So, yeah. I’m looking forward to seeing the updated “Road House”. I hope it’s good. Because, honestly, there are a lot of movies that came out in the 1980s that are near and dear to us that were remade with disastrous results. Here are 10 examples.
Fame (2009)
1980’s “Fame” was a realistic dramatic situations augmented by great musical numbers. 2009’s “Fame” was an unexceptional musical enveloped by sanitized, dumbed-down clichés. At least Debbie Allen was featured in this one too.
The Karate Kid (2010)
The Karate Kid, which came out in 1984 and spawned 3 sequels, is beloved. You need no further proof of that than the success of the “Cobra Kai” Netflix series that revolves around the characters from the original film. The remake stays pretty true to the original but is not without significant changes. It’s not hard to imagine Jaden Smith’s lead character being bullied at school. I don’t mean that to sound like he was unlikeable in the movie. Quite the opposite. He has the natural charm of his dad, Will Smith. But he’s dwarfed by his classmates which helps the viewer suspend disbelief and root for him. Not a bad remake, just an unnecessary one.
Footloose (2011)
The idea that a town would outlaw dancing was kind of farfetched in 1984. It is even more so in today, or even in 2011 when this remake was released. But where the original had charm and humor, the remake lacks both.
Conan The Barbarian (2011)
Conan The Barbarian came out in 1982 and was the first film that Arnold Schwarzenegger starred in. It’s popularity inspired a sequel and even three different monthly comic book series. It was an epic tale of swords and sorcery and mayhem. The reboot starring Jason Mamoa is an epic disaster. Conan’s backstory is altered and the plot is confusing and nonsensical. Personally, I could only make it through about half of this movie before finding something else to watch.
Arthur (2011)
1981’s “Arthur”, starring Dudley Moore, was one of my favorite’s for years. This remake casts Russell Brand in the lead role and your opinion of the movie depends on how much Russell Brand you can tolerate. A little of him goes a long way. This is an edgier version from the original but at least it remain heartwarming in spirit.
Red Dawn (2012)
They traded the hero, Patrick Swayze for Chris Hemsworth, traded the bad guys, Soviet Russia for North Korea and traded a plausible conflict in the 1984 original with a questionable premise in the current state of warfare. The original wasn’t great, but it was fun. So, I suppose this remake does live up to the original in that aspect.
Annie (2014)
1982’s “Annie” kept close the depression-era backdrop of the original 1977 stage version. It was a period piece. Updating the story in modern-day New York City makes it seem simplistic and harder to get into. On a positive note, Quvenzhane Wallis, who is cast as the updated Annie is a pleasure to watch throughout.
Robocop (2014)
It’s funny, I actually just watched this remake of the 1987 film a few weeks ago with my son. I went into it with pretty high expectations since the cast included Michael Keaton, Gary Oldman and even a bit part for Samuel L. Jackson. My son lost interest about a half hour in and started watching reels on his phone. I got through the entire movie but when it was finished, all I wanted to do was go back and watch the original again.
Poltergeist (2015)
The original 1982 film about a suburban American family who’s house was infiltrated by ghosts became a classic horror movie. The shortcomings of the remake start an end with the fact that it just wasn’t as scary as it’s predecessor. Elements from the first movie that made people fall in love with it remain, but because of that, it that only leads to the question, “Why not just watch the original?”
Pet Sematary (2019)
What was added to this remake of the 1989 horror classic based of the book by Stephen King? Jump scares. That’s about it. It uses modern horror movie methods to appease contemporary viewers, but the character development is what’s really lacking. You don’t care as much for the movie’s characters as you did for the ones in the original. And John Lithgow is cool and all, but he’s no Fred Gwynn.
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